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#1

Jack Bauer Facts

in Texte/Berichte 20.01.2008 19:06
von BTVS | 287 Beiträge

Für alle "24"-Fans: Hier ein paar Fakten, die man wissen sollte.



If Jack Bauer had been a Spartan the movie would have been called "1".

When a convicted terrorist was sentenced to face Jack Bauer, he appealed to have the sentence reduced to death.

Jack Bauer never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.

There are three leading causes of death among terrorists. The first two are Jack Bauer, and the third one is heart attack from hearing Jack Bauer is coming for them.

Jack Bauer could get off the Lost island in 24 hours.

If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

The only reason you're conscious right now is because Jack Bauer doesn't want to carry you.

Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.

There were originally five horsemen of the apocalypse. Jack Bauer said he would travel by foot.

Jack Bauer sleeps with a gun under the pillow. But he could kill you with the pillow.

When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack found it and put it back.

As a boy, Jack Bauer interrogated his parents on Easter until they revealed the location and contents of each hidden egg.

After running out of ammo, Jack stood in the line of fire, took 3 shots to the chest, and used them to reload.

A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Minister walked into a bar... and Jack Bauer is going to find out why...

Withholding information from Jack Bauer is now classified as a suicide attempt.

Jack Bauer broke into the Russian Consulate and got captured because he thought it would be fun to compare Russian prisons with Chinese prisons.

If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".

Jack Bauer always tests positive for steroids. Not that he uses steroids. It's because steroids are made from Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer was nominated for an Emmy for playing Kiefer Sutherland.

Jack Bauer does not get taken prisoner. He puts himself in a disadvantageous position so as to make his next several killings more dramatic.

Jack Bauer doesn't have a firewall on his PC. He has a Bauerwall. It's basically just a JPEG of Jack Bauer. No virus has ever attacked Jack Bauer's PC. Ever.

Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone.

Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.

Jack Bauer doesn't need to eat, sleep, or use the bathroom because his organs are afraid of making him angry.

Jack Bauer has the heart of a terrorist. He keeps it in a jar on his desk.

Only Jack Bauer can fly a plane from the luggage compartment.

Jack Bauer doesn't have a refresh button on his web browser. All events take place in real time.

Torturing terrorists is like riding a bike. Jack Bauer never forgets.

Tony was once shot in the neck, rushed to the hospital, underwent emergency surgery and was back on the job in just a few hours. Jack Bauer still can't believe that pussy went to the hospital first.

There is the right way, the wrong way, and the Jack Bauer way. It's basically the right way but faster and more deaths.

Don't ever ask Jack Bauer what is going on. He'll explain in the car.

In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What the fuck have you done with your life?

Jack Bauer teaches a course at Harvard entitled: "Time Management: Making the Most Out Of Each Day."

Passed out, surrounded by terrorists and nerve gas, and handcuffed to a table leg, Jack Bauer laughed to himself and said, "I have them right where I want them."


Reese: What happened to your eyeliner?
Corbin: I took it off. It was too Adam Ant.
Reese: I liked it. It sort of made you look like a wolverine.
Corbin: Wolverine?
Reese: Wolverines rock.
Corbin: Wolverines do rock.
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#2

RE: Jack Bauer Facts

in Texte/Berichte 21.01.2008 19:49
von [flo] | 526 Beiträge

Und in Deutsch? Versteh eigene der Wortspiele net so ganz!


"That was intense. Really intense. Well, not really intense, but pretty intense."
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#3

RE: Jack Bauer Facts

in Texte/Berichte 21.01.2008 21:04
von BTVS | 287 Beiträge
Wenn du mir die genauen Stellen sagst, die du nicht verstehst, kann ich sie dir gerne übersetzen. Und einige Sachen versteht man vielleicht auch nur, wenn man es mal gesehen hat, manche Dinge sind mir auch unklar, da ich nur etwas mehr als eine Staffel angeschaut habe.

Reese: What happened to your eyeliner?
Corbin: I took it off. It was too Adam Ant.
Reese: I liked it. It sort of made you look like a wolverine.
Corbin: Wolverine?
Reese: Wolverines rock.
Corbin: Wolverines do rock.
zuletzt bearbeitet 21.01.2008 21:06 | nach oben springen

#4

RE: Jack Bauer Facts

in Texte/Berichte 21.01.2008 21:59
von Gelöschtes Mitglied
avatar

Jack Bauer?!?! PAH!!

Chuck Norris ftw!!!!

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#5

RE: Jack Bauer Facts

in Texte/Berichte 18.07.2008 14:01
von Ghost Dog | 364 Beiträge

Chuckie ftw!

Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chainsaw Massacre.


++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"I've always looked for the perfect life to step into. I've taken all the paths to get where I wanted. But no matter where I go, I still come home."

R.I.P.
Layne Staley
(1967-2002)


„That is not dead which can eternal lie,
And with strange æons, even death may die“

H.P. Lovecraft (über den Cthulhu)
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